In the interest of fairness...

The next Federal election is drawing ever closer, even if the Liberals haven't had the chutzpah to call it yet. Those who aren't Liberal supporters must scarcely believe what they're seeing: Labor well ahead in the polls, over a period of months, and yet, according to the bookies, at least, still a plausible contender for the coveted 'underdog' status.

Those who aren't paid-up members of the Bennelong Boil's fan club may need to take these next few months as an opportunity to reflect upon Australia's second-longest serving Prime Minister.

Criticism of Howard from 'the Left' is often derided as 'Howard Hating', and apparently diagnostic of psychopathy (if you believe Janet Albrechtson at any rate). In the interests of showing that this Revolutionary is 'Fair and Balanced', I thought it fitting, therefore, to include some reflections on Howard by his own party colleagues.

Liberal Senator George Brandis:

Liberal Senator George Brandis does not deny routinely referring to the
Prime Minister as "the rodent".
He does, however, deny ever calling the Prime
Minister "a lying rodent". He believes John Howard is a truthful rodent.

Former Federal President of the Liberal Party, Shane Stone:

Mean and tricky, out of touch, and not listening.

Former Liberal Party leader, John Hewson:

To an Asian, our solution to the Tampa reeks of racism. It further feeds a
suspicion that still persists in Asia that we have never abandoned the White
Australia Policy.

Current MP, Wilson Tuckey on Howard:

Gutless.

Finally, it takes a Victorian to put some things best. Everyone knows that a Victorian's eloquence is matched only by his or her political acumen. To that end, it is only appropriate to recall a taped conversation between Andrew Peacock and Jeff Kennett, wherein the latter expressed his sentiments on our present leader, by way of recalling a conversation he had with Howard:

I said, "Tomorrow John" and he said, "I know where your sympathies lie",
and I said, "I couldn't give a fuck. I have no sympathies any more. You're all a
pack of shits and tomorrow I'm going berserk". Well he went off his brain and in
the end I said to him, I said, "Howard. You're a cunt. You haven't got my
support, you never will have and I'm not going to rubbish you or the party
tomorrow but I feel a lot better having told you you're a cunt."

I hope these guys are available for comment on election night.